Let's Go Kill A Dude
by under.the.bridge.downtown
Summary: The Witch Angela experiences her first breakup and one of her adoptive parents takes it better than the other.


"I mean how could he just dump me like that!? ME?! And for that slut too! I should just turn him into a snail and crunch his shell under my boots! Oh of all the useless, low life, bottom feeding-"

"Angela honey, take a deep breathe." Tsubaki rubs the tiny back of a sixteen year old Witch Angela, sitting on her bed in the tiny apartment she shares with her weapon partner Trixie. Tsubaki had been called down to the school that morning when Angela had apparently punched her now ex-boyfriend and broken his nose in the middle of the hallway. Her fist had been well aimed and the boy had to be taken to the hospital to have his nose and cheekbones reconstructed. She had rushed Angela home, Trixie holding onto her meisters other side for both comfort and assurance that she wouldn't run back in and find the girl he'd been cheating on her with and break a couple more bones.

"I know it hurts love, but you need to breathe and calm down. You'll pass out soon if you don't get enough oxygen."

"Yeah babe," her weapon pipes up. She's taken up position behind Angela, who's resting against Trixie's chest and has their hands tangled in her lap. "Aaron was a fucking tool anyway. And ugly as dicks to boot. Forget about the fuckwad." Tsubaki likes Beatrix, approves of the katana sword as her adoptive daughters weapon. Maybe it was because of her colourful hair to match her even more colourful language. Or maybe it's because she reminded her so much of Black Star. Maybe a bit a both.

"Angie, you're still very young. There'll be other partners, other chances at love." She avoids the word 'boyfriend' and sees Trixie grin out of the corner of her eye. Angela lets out another sob and buries her face in other girls shoulder.

"I was gonna give him everything." she mumbles through the material of Trixie's sweater, half ashamed and half disappointed.

"Oh sweetheart, Angela, there is no need to rush something like that. It'll happen when it happens, and you'll be grateful you waited just a little bit longer."

"When did you and the Monkey-in-law finally bang Mrs. Star?" Tsubaki appreciates Trixie's attempt at humor and a change of subject, but desperately wishes she'd picked another topic. She sputters out a few words that aren't exactly English and gives a resigned sigh when she sees Angela has stopped crying and is peaking at her around her weapon's bicep.

"Well, I'm a few years older than Black Star, so I had to wait for him to...catch up."

Trixie scoffs, "More like go through evolution. The neanderthal."

"Ahhem, yes Beatrix something like that. I think I was nineteen by the time he started to see me more as a woman than as opposed to a mother."

"Did you always love him Tsu?" Angie has pulled herself up onto her knees and is now giving Tsubaki her full and undivided attention. She decides to keep talking, will to do anything if it means Angela has stopped crying.

"Not at first, not right away. I admired him for his confidence and courage. He seemed to sure of himself," Tsubaki thinks wistfully back to the memory of when they met, watching this tiny speck of a boy scream from the top of his lungs as if the whole world should be hanging on his every word. "It wasn't until after I defeated my brother that I knew I'd never love anyone else. It was a platonic at first, we were both still children. But as I watched him grow into a man I...well I suppose I couldn't help myself." Angela and Trixie giggle a bit at the last part and Tsubaki smiles at them fondly.

"For all his faults, Big Star does have a pretty bangin' bod."

"Eww Trixie!" Angela grabs the pillow holding her friend up and shoves her face into it. "He's like my dad or something. Gross."

"Well I would know." Tsubaki chimes in, a small hand resting protectively on her stomach.

"You go Mrs. Star! Get some!"

"I can't believe I'm gonna be a big sister." Reaching over to run her fingers through Angela's hair, which she has grown and styled to match the picture of a strong, imposing man that sits on her nightstand, Tsubaki gives Mifune her silent thanks for giving her such a beautiful daughter. Her other hand goes to rest on Trixie's cheek, bringing them both in for a tight hug.

"Girls, whatever happens and whomever you meet, know that you can always rely on each other. There is no stronger bond than one between a weapon and meister." Pulling away, she gives the stars tattooed into each of their shoulders a soft caress before hauling herself up.

"Now come on, if there's one thing I know about break ups, it's that anything can be cured by a little grease and dairy." She drags them out into the kitchen and begins frying up everything in sight while the girls build a fort in the living room. Tsubaki's stomach makes it a little hard to move around the tiny galley kitchen, but she makes do. She wedges herself between the recliner and Trixie, they put on the most violent movie they can find and they dig into a plate full of nachos that'll go straight to their hips. A couple hours, one jar of deep fried pickles and a pint of ice cream each later, Angela has passed out in Trixie's lap, who has in turn fallen asleep leaning against Tsubaki. As her own eyes start to dip, the front door slams open and drywall falls from the ceiling on impact.

"WHO DID THE THING?! WHO THE FUCK MESSED WITH MY GIRL!?" A voice booms, sending all three women jumping up and putting both weapons partially transformed into an awkward mess of metal and flesh. Tsubaki's brain catches up first, the chains in her hair melting away.

"Oh Black Star, you're back from your mission. How did it go?"

"No time for that Tsu," Her meister pushes Trixie aside like an annoying fly and picks Angie up by her shoulders. Even fully grown, he's still only a couple of centimeters taller than Tsubaki but Angela is practically miniature standing next to him.

"Papa Star I-"

"Where the fuck does he live baby girl? You tell old Black Star and no one will even find the body."

"Black Star!" Tsubaki scolds and the same time Trixie yells, "Fuck yeah, let's go kill a dude!" Black Star wraps his arm around Angela's shoulder and turns to give his wife his best pout.

"Awwww come on Tsu, at least let us mess him up a little. Strike the fear of God in 'em. Right Trix!" Trixie bounces over, practically bursting with energy and her arm already forming into a long blade. "Come on Mama Star, at least let me give him a scar or something!"

"Absolutely not!" Tsubaki grabs Angela and pulls her over to stand at her side. Their shoulders slump. "But," All three perk back up. "I'm going to draw a bath for Angela and then help her into bed. If you two just so happen to sneak out the fire escape and scale the side of the building while my back is turned, while I can't very well stop you. Can I?" Trixie is already half way down the hall with Black Star right on her tail. Angela laughs, giving Tsubaki a tight hug before hurrying into the bathroom.

"Oh and Black Star?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Don't kill him okay? I don't want to have to explain to Kid why one of his students has disappeared."

"No murder. Got it. Okay, love you, bye."


End file.
